I’ve talked about routine break quite a lot on this blog. I seriously don’t mind a few changes here and there. But what about when you’re changing every part of one routine? That is, what you eat and when you eat?
Yesterday evening, I started my diet. It was nothing big at first, just having two boiled eggs and two pieces of toast (one peanut butter and one Vegemite) for dinner. Okay, so it was more like a breakfast plate, but it tasted fine and filled me up. I like toast and even just eat it with butter sometimes, and although boiled eggs can sometimes be unpredictable, these ones were just how I like them (mostly solid with just a few drops of liquid in the middle).
It was today that things got hard. I had baked beans for breakfast – one of those little baby tins that are about half the size of a regular one. I have now bought twelve more of those tins for future breakfasts (alternating with eggs). I wanted sushi for lunch, so I didn’t eat anything more for the next few hours. However, my body was used to lunch being at twelve, so by half-past, my mind was being severely punished by the change in routine and my body insisting it was hungry. I spent the afternoon tearful and tortured, both by the fact that I had to start dieting and that I didn’t feel good. And I never did get the sushi I wanted.
After a few hours of this, I was encouraged to go and have a snack, so I had to settle for plain popcorn. Now, I like my popcorn plain, second only to buttery popcorn, so it was actually an enjoyable snack, and I did feel a lot better after eating it.
Then for dinner, I had chicken noodle soup, which as everyone knows, is extremely healthy. Because the chicken was boiled and had no skin on it, it was almost pure protein, no calories.
So what next? I guess I’ll just have to get used to this new routine of food. I’ve vowed to get my weight down. I haven’t checked my weight recently, but I hate the way I look in all the dresses I’ve tried on this week and I should fit into them more comfortably. If I look good in my two-year-old polkadot dress by November, I’ll have made it. My new routine will be eggs or baked beans for breakfast, a sandwich/roll/American hot dog for lunch with some carrot sticks or fruit, a snack of nuts or popcorn, and…well, I’m not going to change dinner.
And I’m going to be seeing a nutritionist on Friday too, so I’ll probably end up with a whole new meal plan. Routine change again. So, as an autist, how have I fared with this so far?
Well, first of all, I had another meltdown. To be fair, I was hungry at the time and it didn’t last as long as it could have. Second, I felt very lifeless all morning. That might have been partly because I was in the throes of anxiety about my weight (and as a matter of fact, I felt my stomach after the noodle soup and it felt like there was slightly less of one already). Third, and most importantly, I am already feeling the temptation to cheat. I know, it’s terrible. But I need to get into better habits.
And so the sun sets on day one of diet time. When will I next eat a bowl of pumpkin ravioli?